Dear Ike,
I am very confused why you are dramatic sometimes. You make things sound worse than what’s actually happening. Like that time you were sick and was being dragged by people in jail when you were really in a nice, comfy bed at home, but you’re not a bad dog at all. I am very happy to have you as a pet. You can be a little weird but that’s ok. You write a lot of letters and they all are funny.
From your owner,
Mrs. LaRue